On Having the Call Centre Blues

Do you ever get those annoying phone calls from foreign call centres? You know how it goes..."hello, meesees Printemps, thees ees Chrees from .....unintelligible company name...We are today doing wee leetle survey and would like to ask you some questions.  Anyway, the other day I answered the phone and it was Chrees again.  He said to me "Hello, Meesees Printemps, my colleague has just been speaking to Mr Roberto Printemps..." 

This was Chrees' fatal error.  Apart from the fact that he hadn't even been in the house since 7.30 that morning, my husband, Roberto Printemps, does not do phones.  He does not speak to anyone from call centres, banks, double glazing companies etc etc.  If he does happen to answer the phone and it is Chrees doing a wee little survey, he usually tells Chrees that Roberto Printemps has run away from home and joined the circus (or more likely something ruder with swear words.)

I said "Hold it right there Chrees.  I know for a fact that your colleague DID NOT speak to Mr Roberto Printemps, so don't you dare lie to me and don't ever phone this number again."  I hung up on him, annoyed that he had lied to me.  Well, the next day, our phone rang about 20 times and each time I answered, there was a very loud slam of someone banging the phone down.  I think I might have upset little Chrees.....do I look bothered?

Another time, I actually did agree to do a wee little survey.  The young girl sounded so nice and I felt a bit sorry for her having such a bloody awful job of phoning us poor impatient British people to ask stupid questions.  I answered some of her questions and then the next question was "would you consider donating to such & such a charity?"  I said "no, I wouldn't."  She said "I'll just repeat the question again Meesees Printemps.  Would you consider giving to such and such a charity?"  Again, "no I wouldn't."  She was slightly perturbed because I had given her the "wrong" answer.  Next question "would you consider donating to some dog charity or other?"  Again, "no."  "I will just repeat this question again......hello, hello...are you there Meesees Printemps?"